Struggling...

Okay...I'm going to be completely and totally honest. I'm struggling. I'm struggling spiritually and emotionally.

Why is it so hard for us to admit to others when we struggle? Isn't that why we have Christian friends?? So that when we are at our low points in life and we just need a little help we have someone we can talk to and pray with?!?!

I know the answer for me. Its a simple five letter word. Pride. Okay April....get a grip....you know what the bible says....you know what you have to do. Why does it seem so difficult?!?!

I just want Jesus. That's all I want. Jesus to wrap His arms around me and wipe my tears and lift me up. HELLO!!!... I have to LET him. I can WANT all day long but until I actually surrender myself and LET Him have HIS way I'll be stuck in a rut, all by myself.

I was watching a video clip of Joyce Meyer today and something she said really stuck out to me and I'd like to share it.:

Many times we pray for God to perform a miracle. A miracle of healing, financial relief, family and friend troubles, etc. etc. Most often, God will not perform this great miracle. He wants us to take His hand and walk through the valley with Him and let Him teach us and show us things we would never learn if we were just given instant relief.

This definitely got my attention. It changed my attitude and my way of thinking. I want to learn something through all of this Lord. Show me. I'm ready to follow you through this valley.

So, please pray for me, as me and Jesus walk through this valley. I know he'll use this to show me something if I'll let him.

A little HELP down here…please!!!

Sometimes things happen, situations change, or we are made to go in a different direction. We wonder, “Why God?”.  It seems like things are going great! There are improvements being made, new things introduced, and you feel like you are on the right track. Yet, one small thing; A phone call, an E-mail, etc. changes EVERYTHING (or so it seems).

Doubt creeps in. We start evaluating everything and everyone, including ourselves. We ask “What have I done wrong?” More often than not, the answer is “nothing”. There is just a new path to be taken. IT WILL BE OKAY! You are still God’s child. He still loves you. He is still going to use you. He’s not finished with you.

It’s in these times we should focus on getting closer to Jesus. Check our priorities. Pray more, fast more, dig into the Word more. And WORSHIP more.

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.  Genesis 9:13 NIV

For every storm, there will be a rainbow. You may not always see it…but its there.

His love…It’s amazing

Your love amazes me. Your love amazes me.

It’s more than I could ever conceive

Your love amazes me.

It’s higher than the mountains

And it’s deeper than the ocean

It’s farther than the East is from the West

That’s Your love for me

Your love amazes me. Your love amazes me

It’s more than I could ever conceive

Your love amazes me.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 1 John 4:9

Lyrics from Anointed Praise 1-5

Quick prayer of thanks...

Thank you God for old friendships and new ones! When I need encouragement, you send just the right friend to lift me up.

Do NOT fear…

I am a dreamer.  Every morning I wake up from a dream of some sort.  Some are strange dreams, some are scary, and some are realistic.  Thursday morning I woke up crying from a very strange, scary and very real dream.  I’ve never had a dream that felt so real.  My whole body was racking and shaking as I sobbed.  I cried all morning while trying to get ready for work and I cried most of the day at work.  I’ve never had a dream that effected me so much.  Here it is…

The first thing I remember about my dream is that my family was all around.  Family that I haven’t seem since I was a little girl.  Everyone was there.  I was sick.  Not only was I sick, but I was dying.  My funeral was being planned around me.  Things were being lined up for when I passed.  Everyone was waiting for me to die.  Family members were taking turns telling me how much they loved me and telling me “good-bye”.  I was also telling everyone that I loved them.  I remember time was getting close.  Some men brought in a casket and opened it and were preparing it for when it was time to put me in.  I remember my breath becoming short.  It was harder and harder to draw a deep breath.  And finally I was only panting.  I remember telling everyone around me that I needed to lay down, and that it was almost time.  I was not scared in my dream.  It seemed that I was at peace and so was everyone else.  Some were crying, but it was not tears of sorrow.  I remember laying down and my breath grew even  shorter.  I looked over to my Grandleria and said, “It’s my time to give up the ghost”. 

Then I woke up.

Just to simply say that I cried when I woke up would be a complete understatement.  I sobbed much like my three year old son does when he is scared.  I believe my husband was scared too.  He’s never seen me cry like that.  I don’t think I’ve cried like that since I was a child. 

So my day was very emotional.  I couldn’t do anything for thinking about my dream and then I would start crying all over again.  I was not scared of dying.  I know where I’ll go when it’s my time.  I had so many feelings going on inside me I didn’t know what to do.

Well, I called mother.  Thank God for my mother.  I asked mother if she could interpret my dream…as if she is an interpreter.  She said she didn’t know what it meant but she gave me the following scripture which helped me .:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

So whatever you are going through, Do not fear.  God is with you.  He will not leave nor forsake you.  It may seem like you are drowning.  It may seem like the fire is getting hotter.  It may seem like the walls are getting higher.  He’s still there and He cares for you.  Do not fear, for He is with you.  He will strengthen you and help you.  He will uphold you.  Do not be dismayed for He is your God.  You are His child and He loves you!

Wishing my Mother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Call on Jesus

This is my life-song. When I can’t find the strength to do anything else, all I have to do is call…and He’s there!

I’m so very ordinary. I’m nothing special on my own. I have never walked on water and I have never calmed a storm. Sometimes I’m hiding away from the madness around me like a child whose afraid of the dark.

But when I call on Jesus, all things are possible. I can mount on wings like eagles and soar. When I call on Jesus mountains are gonna fall. Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call.

Weary Brother, Broken Daughter, Widowed Lover: You’re not along. If you’re tired and scared of the madness around you, if you can’t find the strength to carry on…

When you call on Jesus, all things are possible. You can mount on wings like eagles and soar. When you call on Jesus mountains are gonna fall. Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you call.

Call Him in the morning, in the afternoon time, late in the evening He’ll be there. When your heart is broken and you feel discouraged, you can just remember that He’s there…He’ll be there.

When I call…