Thank you God for old friendships and new ones! When I need encouragement, you send just the right friend to lift me up.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I am a dreamer. Every morning I wake up from a dream of some sort. Some are strange dreams, some are scary, and some are realistic. Thursday morning I woke up crying from a very strange, scary and very real dream. I’ve never had a dream that felt so real. My whole body was racking and shaking as I sobbed. I cried all morning while trying to get ready for work and I cried most of the day at work. I’ve never had a dream that effected me so much. Here it is…
The first thing I remember about my dream is that my family was all around. Family that I haven’t seem since I was a little girl. Everyone was there. I was sick. Not only was I sick, but I was dying. My funeral was being planned around me. Things were being lined up for when I passed. Everyone was waiting for me to die. Family members were taking turns telling me how much they loved me and telling me “good-bye”. I was also telling everyone that I loved them. I remember time was getting close. Some men brought in a casket and opened it and were preparing it for when it was time to put me in. I remember my breath becoming short. It was harder and harder to draw a deep breath. And finally I was only panting. I remember telling everyone around me that I needed to lay down, and that it was almost time. I was not scared in my dream. It seemed that I was at peace and so was everyone else. Some were crying, but it was not tears of sorrow. I remember laying down and my breath grew even shorter. I looked over to my Grandleria and said, “It’s my time to give up the ghost”.
Then I woke up.
Just to simply say that I cried when I woke up would be a complete understatement. I sobbed much like my three year old son does when he is scared. I believe my husband was scared too. He’s never seen me cry like that. I don’t think I’ve cried like that since I was a child.
So my day was very emotional. I couldn’t do anything for thinking about my dream and then I would start crying all over again. I was not scared of dying. I know where I’ll go when it’s my time. I had so many feelings going on inside me I didn’t know what to do.
Well, I called mother. Thank God for my mother. I asked mother if she could interpret my dream…as if she is an interpreter. She said she didn’t know what it meant but she gave me the following scripture which helped me .:
So whatever you are going through, Do not fear. God is with you. He will not leave nor forsake you. It may seem like you are drowning. It may seem like the fire is getting hotter. It may seem like the walls are getting higher. He’s still there and He cares for you. Do not fear, for He is with you. He will strengthen you and help you. He will uphold you. Do not be dismayed for He is your God. You are His child and He loves you!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
This is my life-song. When I can’t find the strength to do anything else, all I have to do is call…and He’s there!
I’m so very ordinary. I’m nothing special on my own. I have never walked on water and I have never calmed a storm. Sometimes I’m hiding away from the madness around me like a child whose afraid of the dark.
But when I call on Jesus, all things are possible. I can mount on wings like eagles and soar. When I call on Jesus mountains are gonna fall. Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call.
Weary Brother, Broken Daughter, Widowed Lover: You’re not along. If you’re tired and scared of the madness around you, if you can’t find the strength to carry on…
When you call on Jesus, all things are possible. You can mount on wings like eagles and soar. When you call on Jesus mountains are gonna fall. Cause He’ll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you call.
Call Him in the morning, in the afternoon time, late in the evening He’ll be there. When your heart is broken and you feel discouraged, you can just remember that He’s there…He’ll be there.
When I call…
Monday, November 23, 2009
I am thankful for my Father. My amazing Father. My Abba Father. A Father that loved me (and you) so much that He sent His Son to suffer through hours and hours of pain and torture. How is it that He could love me so much? I'm so unworthy. Unworthy doesn't begin to describe me. And yet, He loved me anyway. In spite of all the sins and wrong decisions He knew I would make. Yet, He loved me enough.
Like the old song goes,:
He paid a debt He did not owe and I owed a debt I could not pay. I needed someone to wash my sins away. And now I sing a brand new song 'Amazing Grace'. Christ Jesus paid a debt that I could never pay.
Isn't His love AMAZING?!?!?!
I am also thankful for my Godly Daddy and Mother. I am thankful that I was raised in a Christian home and taught to love Jesus. I am thankful for my sister who although had a rough past, but has turned her life around and now serves God and is sharing her story and ministering to so many women.
I am thankful for my Christian husband who loves me and our children with all of his being. Who always puts our needs before his needs. I am thankful that he is the head of our household and he takes responsibility for us. I am thankful for my rowdy boys. They are truly a joy and blessing to us. They are both unique in their own way and already our oldest son, at only three years old, has a tender heart towards Jesus.
I am thankful for each and every one of you. God has blessed me with sweet, precious, loving friends that encourage me and love on me via the 'Blogger Land'. I love all of you. I'm so happy that I have been able to meet most of you in person and I look forward to meeting the rest of you!
Thank you all for taking time out of your busy lives to read the few words that I post. I really appreciate all the encouraging comments you all give. I'm praying that all of you have a wonderful and joyful Thanksgiving.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
So many times I’ve questioned certain circumstances of things I could not understand. Many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision and my frustration gets so out of hand. It’s then I am reminded, I’ve never been forsaken, I’ve never had to stand a test alone. When I look at all my victories, His spirit rises up in me and in my weakness He will make me strong.
He never promised that the cross would not get heavy, or that the hill would not be hard to climb. He never offered a victory without fighting but He said help would always come in time. Just remember when your standing in the valley of decision and the adversary says “give in”. Just hold on, our Lord will show up, and he will take you through the fire again.
You may recognize these words if you’ve heard this song. It’s one of my favorites and it always lifts me up. I hope it has ministered to you.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Romans 2:12 – For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law ; And as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law
Romans 3:23 – All have sinned and come short of the Glory of God.
John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
Isaiah 60:16 (b) – I am the Lord thy Savior and thy Redeemer, the mighty One of Jacob.
So many times, in so many ways I’ve failed Him. But He is so much bigger than all my failures. No matter how many failures, no matter how many short comings, GOD IS BIGGER! He still loves me. He still loves YOU! We are precious in His sight. Oh, what a Savior!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Ms. Karen, thank you so much for the beautiful flower arrangements! You are so sweet!
Ms. Denise, Thank you for the sweet cards! You are precious!
Everyone else that contributed to the weekend and wasn't able to make it, THANK YOU! You were greatly missed!
God is so good! He is AWESOME!!!
I love you all!!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Pure: 1. Not mixed: not mixed with any other substance 2. Free from contamination: clean and free from impurities 3. Complete: sheer or complete 4. Describes color, sound, or light that is pleasingly clear and vivid
Renew: 1. Return to doing something: to begin something or doing something again, or be begun again 2. Extend something: to make something such as a contract, lease or license effective for a longer period or be made effective for a longer period 3.: Replace something worn: to replace something that is worn, broken or no longer suitable for use 4.: Repeat promise: to reaffirm or restate a promise or commitment 5.: give somebody or something new energy: to give somebody or something new energy, strength, or enthusiasm 6. Replace something used up: to get a new supply of something 7. Make something new again: to make something new or as if new again
Steadfast: 1. Firm: firm and unwavering in purpose, loyalty or resolve 2. Fixed: firmly fixed or constant
Monday, September 7, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
I come to you in this post with a prayer request. A very good friend (more like a brother) of mine was involved in an accident tonight. He and his girlfriend were on their way to eat and hit a lady walking down the street. My friend did not see her until she was just a few feet in front of him. He tried to swerve and slam on brakes to miss her, but unfortunately, he hit her. I don't know much about her condition other than she is still alive at this time and has been transported by helicopter to another hospital.
Also, the lady had a male companion with her and right after she was hit, the male companion punched out my friend's window and took all their money. The male has been arrested and is currently in our county jail. They are really shook up.
Please pray for this lady and for my friend and his girlfriend. I will post an update as soon as I have one.
Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
In May of this year, David and I moved into our home. We've been married six years and this was "our" first home. We have rented up until this point. We had prayed for most of our marriage for the Lord to make a way for us to be able to buy our own home. Well, after six years, it was finally time. We have a precious older brick home out in the country on 5.8 acres. It's beautiful. The house was built in the '70s but has been very well maintained. It's just what we had prayed for. Enough room for our growing family and plenty of yard for the boys to play and have animals. (Although all we have right now is two dogs, Wrangler & Daisey)
Our property, other than the location of the house, is completely cleared. Therefore, we have a little less than 5.8 acres that must be kept up so that it doesn't look "thrown away" We want a clean yard. So, we have been praying for the Lord to work things out for us to purchase a small tractor with a bush hog. Well, thanks to the handy-dandy Internet, we found a used tractor with attachments, including a bush hog. We went and checked it out. Actually, David made two trips to drive and test it. There were a couple of issues that brought a little concern. One thing was some pins between the two front tires were wore out and needed replacing, and also, the bush hog wasn't working. David thought he might could fix the bush hog, but if not, maybe the seller would knock some off the price because of these issues and we could just buy a new bush hog. We started praying that if it was the Lord's will that the guy would accept exactly what we offered.
Well, we went to the bank to take out a loan, because we don't have thousands just sitting around waiting to be spent. Everything at the bank worked out and we were able to get a loan for the entire amount that the seller was asking. David and I took time off work yesterday to go down and hopefully bring the tractor home. I can honestly say I was not prepared for what happened when we got to the location of the tractor.
I remained quiet, because I am not a wheeler and dealer. Well David isn't either, but he is better at this sort of thing that I am. David started talking with the man about the issues we were concerned about and offered him what we had decided to give for the tractor. The man looked at us like we were crazy. Now, my husband is very knowledgeable about farming and all that goes with it, so he knew what he was talking about when it came to this tractor and what it is worth. David made his offer which was very good considering we were still going to have to work on the front end much less the fact the bush hog issue.
The man practically threw us off his property. He told us that he was highly offended that we would even offer such a price and that we would be wise to get right back in our truck and go back home. David told him we had cash and were prepared to pay him what we had offered. He basically yelled at us for "offending" him and told us to go get back in our truck and drive north. So, that's what we did.
I was in shock. Like I said before, I was not prepared for what happened. I've never been thrown off someones property before. It's not at all what I expected it would be. LOL! Well, on the way home we were talking about it...obviously...what else do you talk about?!?!?! I told David that I was so glad that God showed us even through that, that it wasn't His will for us to have that tractor.
You know He could have showed us differently if He wanted to. He could have done it at the bank. We could have easily been denied the loan. How embarrassing would that be! But He chose otherwise. He chose for us to been thrown off a very rude man's property. HA!
Thank you Lord for showing yourself to me. Thank you for the humor I have found in this. I'm so glad you are in charge and I am not.
Have you ever had a situation that God showed you His will in a unique way? Tell me about it!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Oh Lord I'm so hungry for you. I long for your anointing. Fill me Jesus. I'm pressing in Lord. I'm pressing into the thrown room. I know you'll meet me there. I know that it is your time God, not mine. I'm ready, I willing, I'm wanting.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Also keep my wonderful husband, David in your prayers. He will stay at home with the boys. He will need your prayers!!!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
My God, I will praise you in the storm. In the good times I will praise you. In the bad times, I will praise you. Through the storm, and through the fire, I will praise you and you alone. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I will praise you. No matter what comes my way, I will lift my voice to you. I will lift my hands and I will worship you Almighty God for you are worthy of all the praise and all the honor and all the glory. EVERMORE I will love and serve you. EVERMORE I will bow before you and I will bless your name FOREVERMORE.
Oh God, I have been so weak. I have let my spiritual life become almost non existent. I have let myself fall into temptation. I knew better. I'm so ashamed and so unworthy. I don't deserve your forgiveness. But God... you are always there. You sent your son to die on an old rugged cross so that when I do fail you, by your grace and mercy I am forgiven. Thank you Lord, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for reaching your hand down to me when I have fallen. Thank you for picking me up, dusting me off and setting me in the right way. You are the one and only constant in my life. You are always there. You are there no matter what. Even when I think I can do it all by myself, you never leave. Thank you for loving me in spite of my sin. In spite of hurting you and turning my back on you. You are always faithful to depend on.
Thank you Father for loving your creation so much. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for placing desires in my heart. Help me Lord to fulfill your plan for my life. I can't do it without you. I don't want to do it without you. I need you Jesus. You are my water, my bread, my air, my sanity, my comfort, my love, my patience, my family and my heart. Show me your glory Father. Don't let me miss the glory.
Help me Lord to lead others to you. Help me find the lost sheep and bring them back to your fold. Let me be a light for you. Shine in me Jesus. Draw me closer to you God. Show me your wonders. Let your precious Holy Spirit be ever so present in my life. Let me work for you. I am here Lord to give you all. Take my life Lord and let me be a living prayer my God to thee. It's all about you Lord. You are my audience of One.
Help me Lord to be the mother you would have me to be. Help me teach my children to love you and work for you. Help me to be the wife my husband deserves. Help us to grow closer to you as one. Let our home be a safe haven. Use us as a family for your glory.
They cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and He relieved them from distress.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men.
Psalm 107: 6,8
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I had the awesome pleasure to meet and love on Sister Lisa Shaw this past weekend. Lisa came and stayed at Mother's house and I was able to go over and visit. For those of you who have not met her, you are missing out. I encourage you to visit her blog. She is an awesome woman of God and an inspiration to me. Sister Lisa...I love you and I'm praying for you and your ministry. I can't wait to see you at the Blogger's Retreat!
Speaking of the Blogger's Retreat, I'm praying and believing for the Lord to do great and mighty things!!! I can't wait and hope to see you there!!!
Again, please check back soon, I'll be posting this week.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Okay, Sorry, back to business.
The camp meeting was incredible! I was able to worship, pray, praise, and shout right along side three of my favorite people! My mother, Grandleria, and Aunt Aimee. The services were AWESOME! The precious Holy Spirit was moving all across the congregation and platform. The anointing was so heavy. I felt so free. Free in the Spirit, Free in the Lord, Free in my worship, FREE!.
I got to hear my Mother pray in the Spirit. It's been a long time since I have heard that. Oh it's such a sweet sound. Now, I know that she prays in the Spirit everyday, but I don't see her everyday. And when I do see her, we are usually chasing after little boys, not in a church service or prayer closet. So hearing this was refreshing to me. I also got to witness my Aunt Aimee have herself a time in the Spirit. And of course I had myself a time as well. It was all so refreshing and rejuvenating. I know that God moved in many areas of many people's lives those nights. He surely moved in mine. There will be an addition to my testimony, in the future, I'm quite sure.
On another note: I can't wait to see you all at the Free2BeMe Blogger's Retreat! If you're not sure about coming yet, I would encourage you to come. You will not regret it. You will be blessed!!!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
I will be posting more very soon. Just keep checking.
Lots of Love to you all!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
I am so weak Lord, and you are so strong. Thank you God for carrying me when I couldn't walk. Thank you Lord for picking me up when I have fallen. Thank you God for your grace and your mercy. Where would I be without your love? I don't deserve any of the blessings you've given me. I haven't always taken care of the talents you've given me. I haven't always done what I felt was right. I haven't always stood up for you. I haven't always been a light. I haven't always shared your love with others. I'll never be perfect.
BUT GOD... You love me in spite of all these things. You continue to bless me anyway. You continue to keep and protect me. You remain faithful. You've never turned your back on me. You love me even though I hurt you. I could never repay the debt that I owe. I'll never do enough for you. But I'll do my best.
I can do ALL things through Christ who is my strength. Phil. 4:13
Friday, June 19, 2009
It seemed like every time Pastor preached a sermon, or taught a Sunday School lesson it was all about me. Now, I knew that Pastor wasn’t intentionally ‘speaking to me’, but God was using him to get to me. After a few Sundays, everything started sinking in and I knew I couldn’t keep going the same way. I started praying, my husband started praying. It was the first time I was completely honest with him and myself. I told him everything. Up until this point the didn’t know I felt a call to the choir. I don’t know why but I expected him to be shocked and maybe even tell me I couldn’t direct the choir. I couldn’t read music, couldn’t play an instrument, and I didn’t know one thing about directing a choir. But he didn’t. He was so understanding and supportive. He told me that if God called me then He would make a way. He promised he’d be praying for me.
So after a couple of weeks of prayer and fasting, I made an appointment with the Pastor. The closer the appointment time came, the more nervous I became. The devil tried everything to get me to cancel and change my mind. But I was tired of living out of God’s will.
I remember the day I was to meet with Brother Dallas. It was pouring rain. There was a tornado warning/watch all morning, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me. All week I tried to come up with a good speech of how to say all that I wanted to say but I just couldn’t get my thoughts together. Finally I just decided to spit it all out however it came and hope that it made sense. And that’s just what I did. Pastor seemed very excited and very happy that I was ready.
So over the next several weeks I began to prepare myself. I began reading my bible and praying more. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But still, I had to fight Satan. Still he tried to get me to back out and to give up. I'll be really honest...it was pretty tempting, but I knew that if my God called me, then He would make a way. He would equip me, He would send the right people into my life to teach me.
It's been a couple of months since that meeting with Pastor. I'm happy to say that I'm on my way to be the full time worship leader at my church. In time, I will also be the choir director. I've been leading the worship service for the past few weeks on Sunday nights, and in July I'll have my first Sunday morning service. It's so exciting. Still scary, but I know I'm doing what God has called me to do.
Please keep me in your prayers as I learn and grow.
Monday, June 15, 2009
... When I went to meet with Pastor Dallas, I was really nervous and maybe a little anxious because I didn’t know exactly what he would say, if anything.
I started from the very beginning. I told him when I first felt the call all the way up until the night before during the service. At times (not always), Pastor can be easy to read, and by the smile on his face, I could tell that he was pleased with what I had to say. I expressed to him my fears and the things that had held me back. Mainly, lack of knowledge and experience. Well, he assured me that if God had called me that He would equip me in whatever way needed.
When I left Pastor’s office, I was on cloud nine and I stayed that way for the next few months. Pastor ordered me a book about worship for me to study. I started selecting all the songs to be sung during the morning and evening services. I even started leading the worship services occasionally on Sunday nights. Pastor said he wanted to ease me into the position. He didn’t want to through me in and me wind up getting overwhelmed. I liked the thought of that. I wasn’t so nervous anymore. Not about the position anyway. I was still really nervous every time I picked up a microphone.
Things were going great or so I thought until one Wednesday night after service, Pastor called me and the pianist (who happens to be my mom-in-law) into a Sunday school room for a private meeting. He informed us that the church would be voting the following week to hire a part time Music Minister. But it wasn’t me. I was stunned…shocked…shaken…confused…etc. What did I do wrong?? Was I not doing a good job? I didn’t think so. I always prayed about the songs I selected and to be quite honest, we were having awesome worship services. I prayed and sought God every week on what He would have us to sing. If I didn’t feel a peace about a certain song I had jotted down, we didn’t sing it. I thought I was doing everything right. What was the problem? Well then Pastor explained that the person they wanted to hire would be there to teach me and help me learn and grow. Okay…I can deal with this. But hire him?!?!? When I’m willing to do it for free??!?!! I didn’t know what to think.
Well the church voted the guy in and by this time I was beginning to be okay with it. I had prayed about it and I had accepted it. After all, I was pregnant again and would be taking time off from the choir/music anyway due to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to breathe deep enough let alone lead the music.
So time rocked on and after only 5 months, the guy the church hired to be Music Minister resigned. He said that he and his family felt lead to be Senior Pastors elsewhere. So that left me a little stung. I had already stepped down for a break from choir until after I had the baby. I knew I couldn’t lead the worship, I could barely breathe just carrying on a normal conversation, not to mention sing. (At this time I was 8 months pregnant) So Pastor lead some and another man in the church lead some. And that’s the way it stayed for several months.
Until one day… To be continued...again...
Okay ladies, this is the last time I'll keep you waiting to hear the rest. The next "testimony post" will be the "rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would say.
Let me say thank you again to everyone for all the wonderful comments I've been getting. I really appreciate the encouragement you all give. You all really bless my heart. Also... please note that "the guy" I'm referring to is an awesome man of God. I've known he and his wife for several years. I do not nor have I ever had any hard feelings against him. (I just want to make that clear :-) )
Friday, June 12, 2009
A day or so later I was having lunch with Tammy. We were talking about all sorts of things and what do you know if the subject of our Music Department came up in the conversation. So, I let her in on my struggle. I asked her to pray about it. She promised that she would. And in the days to follow, I knew that she did.
This very week, we were having revival at our church. Randy Ruiz from California (I think) was preaching. Our pastor had told us how he met him in an airport waiting for a flight to land, or take off (I can’t remember). Anyway, Pastor said that there was just something about him that made him want to learn about him. So here we are now with this preacher from the airport in revival. To say that he was/is anointed is an understatement. The services were awesome!!! This is the time in my life when I felt the presence of God more real than ever before. It was the second night of the revival and time for the preaching to come to a close. It was as if the Precious Holy Spirit softly, quietly came through the back doors of the church and swept over the congregation. There was a hush across the sanctuary. Brother Ruiz began his alter call. All heads were bowed, eyes closed.
I was sitting alone (David was at work) on "our pew" with my head resting on my arms on the back of the pew in front of me. I was quietly praying. Then right in the middle of the alter call Bro. Ruiz stopped speaking very suddenly. He came across the church right to where I was sitting and placed his hand upon my head and began praying for me and speaking to me. I don’t remember all that he said, but I do remember the most important thing. He said "In the name of Jesus, let the fear and the doubt be released". He called our Pastor’s wife, Pam, to come and begin praying for fear and doubt to be released. Another lady in our church joined Pam and started praying "Lord she’s able and willing, if you will equip her". HELLO… is this not the reason I had been pushing this call away so hard? Because I didn’t have the knowledge or experience to do these things??? I just had myself a time in the Lord that night. Never in my life has the Holy Spirit been so real to me than that night.
Needless to say, I scheduled a meeting with the Pastor for the very next day. ...To be continued again...
Sorry, I can only do so much at the time. My boys require much of my attention.
Thank you for visiting.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I love you!
Friday, June 5, 2009
It was April, 2006. I was 5 months pregnant with my first baby and I was attending a Conference in Springfield, Missouri. The conference was for Children’s Pastors/leaders/workers. My husband (David) and I have worked in Children’s Ministry (as well as Youth) since shortly after we were married; so roughly 5 1/2 years now. Anyway, back to the conference…I was with the Children’s Pastor for our church, Tammy Smith. Her husband (Chris) and David were not able to get off work to attend the conference, as it was for one week. Chris is a farmer, cows and crops, and David had not long worked with the Sheriff’s Department and did not have enough leave time built yet. Tammy and I split up and attended different classes so that we could get as much out of the conference as possible. Later each night in our hotel room, we would talk about the classes we attended and what we learned. At night there would be “General Session” in the main sanctuary and we would have worship along with preaching. Pat Holland was the guest speaker for one night in particular. Pat is well known all across the United States as an Anointed, Spirit Filled, On Fire Children’s Ministry Speaker/Teacher/Preacher…etc...etc. This was my first time hearing or seeing her speak. It was powerful! The anointing was dripping off of her. The presence of God was so real. Probably the strongest I had felt in a service up to that point of my life. Since then I have felt it stronger…but I’ll get to that later. She had a very good sermon and I really felt touched by it. At the end of her sermon, during the “alter call” she called everyone that would come to kneel/stand/sit at the alters and seek God for what his desires were for our Children’s Ministry. Easy enough right?…WRONG! I found a spot on the steps to the far left side of the sanctuary leading up to the balcony. I was the only one over there and I began to pray. But for some reason, it felt like my prayers weren’t going anywhere. I was trying really hard to be “in the moment”, but it felt as if I was just going through the motions. I began to weep before the Lord and cry for Him to speak to me. I wouldn’t say I heard an audible voice, because I didn’t. But in my mind and in my Spirit something was playing over and over and over again. Music… I was so confused. “God what are you saying?” I thought, and prayed. But I knew what he meant. It was then, that I knew that He had placed a call on my life to music. Worship leading…Choir…MUSIC! And it scared me. You see, I am not a musician. I can not read music. Sure I took piano lessons as a child, but I never made it past the “beginner” book. All I can do is sing. I’ve sung in church for as long as I can remember. My parents always encouraged me to sing. I remember starting very young, probably the 3rd or 4th grade singing a special in church. But leading/directing music?…HA! Surely God is just kidding right?? I couldn’t shake it. Every time I prayed and even when I wasn’t praying, I felt the tug on my heart. But I was afraid. Really afraid. So I thought it best not to say anything to anyone. Not even David. So eventually the tug wasn’t so strong. Yeah, it was there, but it was ignorable. A few short months later I became a Mommy! My baby was everything to me. Everything I did was for him. To be quite honest, I let my family move up on the list of priorities and God moved down. I’m ashamed to admit it…but it’s true. Time rocked on and eventually the tug started coming back, stronger. I wasn’t able to ignore it anymore. So, I started praying. I prayed for about two weeks. Then one day I decided, I couldn’t take it any longer I had to get it off my chest. So I told David. He wasn’t really sure what to say. He just said he’d pray about it too. And so we prayed… To be continued…
For your enjoyment, here is a picture of my boys. In this picture Cy is 2 and Jake is about 6 months. (The picture is a couple of months old.)